Man I have been feeling a bit down at the moment, not that good things are not going on in my life, they are and she is great! lol

But I cant help but feel like a bit of a failure, like in every way I just don't measure up... Even academically like I am just not at the same pace as everyone around me. Also in my walk with God I barely even count as a Christian any more, just seams like my relationship with God has totally fallen apart. Tonight was the first time in ages I just sat down and read a bit of my bible, I feel like I have not done that or even tired to listen to God in ages. Maybe I am afraid of what He would say to me, that He might say that I am on the wrong path or presueing the wrong goals. I don't think that I could cope with hearing that right now.

I feel like I have lost God in the middle of church, that I have been thinking so much about church and how it should be, that I have forgotten about giving God any thought at all. Like that I have lost all contact with him and that I have lost him as the focus of my life. That makes me feel really sad, like I have failed or compromised my life.

I just want Jesus back, I traded him for a lot of other stuff and it really was not worth it at all.... Can I trade back again?